This isn’t realistic for adults. I’m sorry it’s just not.
Don’t fall into believing that, “if they’re a true friend they’ll drop everything and run to be by your side!” crap.
As a responsible adult there will be times that your friends are hurting and you won’t be able to go to them.
There are times that you will have to go to work, or take your sick kid to the doctor, or do many other things that will prevent you from being there for your friend.
When your friend calls you and they’re falling apart and it’s ten minutes until you have to leave for work, you’re not a bad friend for saying, “Look, I love you. I’m sorry this is happening, but I have to go. I’ll call you back tonight when the kids are asleep.” Or “I’m so sorry this is happening. I love you and I want to be here for you but I’ve got to get to work. I’ll call and check on you during my lunch.”
Adult life is hectic and busy with important things all the time and unfortunately it’s also full of shitty things happening to people we love.
Do your best to be there for the people you love and ask for support when you need it but be understanding when being a responsible adult comes before helping you.
The idea that people need to be there any time you need them is really damaging and unhealthy, too. You can’t place value on a person or a relationship based solely on whether or not they’re available, no questions asked, whenever you need them.
In addition to the above: sometimes, someone simply does not have the energy to help. Maybe they’re coming out of a rough patch themself, maybe they have been busy all day,maybe a chronic illness is flaring up. There are a myriad of reasons someone may not be able to be there.
Obviously, if someone is taking you for granted, and never seems to care how you’re doing, that’s an issue. But to write someone off because their life and your life didn’t line up quite right at a given point in time, or maybe even on more than one occasion, is not a healthy way to handle things.
you think being gay is hard??? try telling people youre only attracted to clowns
theres literally no possible response i can make to this where i come out a winner. ive actually never been owned this hard before. i think i legally owe you money now.
The TTN spinoff is DONE! It’s 17K. I’m not going to edit or proofread it yet – that’ll have to wait until Sunday/Monday. I have more important things to do first.
But! At least the tough part (the writing) is now done. It went quite a lot over the requested/commissioned word count, but iirc I had already mentioned that before.
Next, I have a short oneshot I need to finish, but it won’t be a HP one.
hey ao3 can you like give the extra $38k you made from this month’s funds drive to charity
You know it legally is a charity, right?
If x charity aims for £10, but gets £15, would you expect then to give back the extra five or give it then to another charity? No. Any extra costs go into the “rainy day” fund; sometimes servers crash or break, sometimes false reports are made that require the legal team, sometimes you need to hire coders or what not to implement new features or fix bugs or deal with broken code …
The money they aimed for is the bare minimum, which goes towards things like basic server costs and domain names and legal advice and so forth, but they don’t just “pocket” the rest (as people claim). It’s not a business. It has no advertisements. It needs some “rainy day” cash to function.
You can’t ask a charity to give money to another charity.
They don’t “pocket” excess money. They have a
publicly accessible budget – waaaay more info than most charities, in
fact. In it, you can clearly see where each dollar goes. (Also, you are
vastly underestimating either how much traffic AO3 gets or how much
servers/hosting costs.)
In my experience, people who don’t work in web design and hosting just have no concept of how heavy a load something like AO3 would have. Not only is the traffic absolutely buck wild, but the quantity of data that archive needs to store is fuckoff crazy.
I’m talking “more than the library of congress” crazy. The only reason
it doesn’t require Netflix levels of data serving is that it’s text
based rather than video.
AO3 is in the top 300 websites in the world, and the top 100 in the US. It is the number 2 literature website.
Number 2 in the entire world. JSTOR is 20.
It sees about 6 million people a day.
About 250k an hour. Each of those people is loading multiple pages, many are running
searches that execute on literally hundreds of potential variables per
search. The demands involved are astronomical.
JSTOR, btw, makes 85 million dollars a year.
It’s 18 ranks below AO3′s traffic, and takes in 650 times the amount of money.
But let’s say you think that’s an unfair comparison. Would you say that the Project Gutenberg Literature Archival Group- another text based archive that handles literature operating outside traditional copyright requirements- is more similar?
Because it sees all of 4% of the traffic that AO3 handles.
Care to guess its budget?
Double that of AO3.
AO3 is doing shit on the kind of shoestring budget that I fully, 100% cannot comprehend. And that’s just the archival service.
The 130k also pays for the OTW’s legal team, which they use to defend the right of fandom to fucking exist.
It’s
absolutely batshit fucked up that people are fighting to have the OTW
defunded and AO3 shut down. They are the only organized group that
actually stands directly between fandom- all the art and the fics and
the vids and the music and the chats and the memes and everything we
love about interactive, transformative work- and an incalculable amount of lawsuits.
Not to mention that Ao3’s parent organization OTW is literally a non-profit, and therefore so is Ao3. Like they have charity status and everything filed with the IRS. You can find info about their 501 c3 status online, on their website and also websites that collect information about many nonprofits.
And as a nonprofit they have what’s called a non distribution constraint. This means that if they profit at all, this Cannot be distributed to the shareholders or executives like it would be in a for profit business, it has to go back into the organization and services
So the cop lost his temper and started beating up this kids mom. The kid intervened and the cop pinned him to the ground. While he was already pinned to the ground and not fighting, the cop shot him point blank. And the jury ruled that a reasonable use of lethal force. Am I reading this right? Who are these bootlicking pieces of shit they keep getting for these juries?
From the article
—————————
Following the shooting, the Fraternal Order of Police issued a statement in support of their police officer. Executive Vice President Keith Ferrell said:
“Whenever somebody attacks an officer, there’s always a
weapon involved, always because the officer is always armed…There’s
always likelihood, the probability, that that person could get your
weapon, incapacitate you with a non-lethal weapon, and then get your
sidearm. We’re trained, absolutely that you can’t allow that to
happen…It was very clear to me, and in my experiences, that he was
attacked and this was a fight for his life at some point.”
Same tired old “he feared for his life” bullshit argument from cops. Sounds like cops are a bunch of trigger happy cowards.
His name was Joseph Haynes. He was a 16 year old boy shot point blank by the officer straddling his prone form while his mom and grandmother watched. Instead of immediately calling for medical aid, the cop first called for back up to remove Joseph’s family. They were dragged away while he lay dying on the floor.
Where the fuck is the White Pride crowd? Where the fuck is the All Lives matter? Where the fuck is the MRA?
They’re pinning kids down and shooting them, apparently.
Every year, multiple times a year, they convince ppl to fork out thousands of dollars and….literally nothing changes. There’s no doubt in my mind they’re pocketing most of this money lol
Yep
That’s what’s so wild to me. They’ve made exactly 0 changes other than adding the ‘Exclude’ tags and that def doesn’t take 130k.
You know if any of you actually bothered to click the link it’ll take you to their budget update and break down exactly what the spend the money on, over 70% of which is spent on server expenses, monitoring tools and system licences.
They also spent a good amount of the rest of the 30% budget on significant server overhaul costs.
AO3 is literally a service you get for free and the audacity you’d have to not bother reading the very open budget plan they have, but to then bitch and whine about people donating to keep the site running is wild.
hosts millions and millions of fanfiction at no cost to site users
hosts millions and millions user accounts at no cost to site users
is an extremely high traffic site that rarely, if ever, experiences crashes
is an extremely high traffic site that could profit immensely off ads, but keeps the entire site free of ads
maintains a consistent and elaborate tagging system that allows users easy navigation through fanworks
maintains a simple layout structure so the entire site is easy to read, easy to navigate, and easy to understand making it highly accessible to users – especially disabled users
maintains and updates the budget for users to know exactly where their donations are going to be used in the future and have been used in the past
works with the legal aspects of fanworks in order to keep their site and their users completely legal, and therefore not at risk of being shut down, or sued, or manipulated by large media/companies
works with users when it comes to decision making, includes members in voting processes, etc.
literally hosts millions of fanfiction at no cost whatsoever and doesn’t subject you to ads, honestly those are the only two points you need but the other ones are there to show how much they’re doing
y’all need to appreciate that – donations are completely optional and if you don’t want to donate then don’t, but spreading posts about how Archive doesn’t do anything for anyone and doesn’t do anything with all this money they’re getting is completely unnecessary and outright false.
by asking for 130k dollar 2-3 times a year, that means they ask each account holding user for about 0,08 dollar 2-3 times a year -> 0,25 dollar altogether. this doesn’t even factor in the millions of users who don’t have an account but visit ao3, cos if they pitch in as well, it’ll be even less for everyone who enjoys the access ao3 provides to 4.000.000fanworks and to create more every day!
so yeah you fucking bet i send them at least 50bucks or more a year for all of that. and if out of the 130k they use my 50 bucks to buy themselves some coffee for all the work hours they dedicate to ao3 running as smoothly as it does, keeping it free of harassment and adds without selling my data for it, and fighting for fanworks to remain accessible for everyone now and in future, then be my guest!
Ok ALSO.
‘literally nothing changes’ is one of the things that really gets me so mad. They are in a development stage when they are solidifying everything before launching the 1.0 version. Which might seem they are not working but they are probably working way more than they did in the past.
Stability, performance, and scalability improvements
Improvements to searching and browsing, including better filtering for media type, category, and language
A new header and footer layout, for easier site navigation
Improvements to tag wrangling management features, and enhancements to the tagging system to allow for improved handling of international sources and fandoms
Refinements to the collection and challenge code, including major bug fixes for gift exchanges, prompt memes and tag sets
Review and rewrite of existing code to prepare for art, video, and audio posting, and non-fiction fanworks
Improvements to the handling of work relationships (remixes, translations, gifts…) across the site
Improved and expanded tools for Open Doors to allow for easier imports of at-risk archives
[….] Interlude
Within the 0.9 release cycle, we want to take some scheduled time to review and assess our code base, documentation, resources and plans. During this time, active development will be kept to an absolute minimum and we’ll avoid launching any new features. We will continue to monitor the site for any emergencies and keep sending out invites to people on the waiting list, but will focus most of our attention on laying the groundwork for good stability going forward. This is something which we always try to factor into our plans, but during very busy periods it’s easy to build up technical debt and harder to make sure everything is shipshape and well-documented. This interlude will help ensure both our code and our procedures are well organized and sustainable.
It is a fundamental step to make sure than in the future everything will be easier to implement and they won’t need more hours to put in and more works. And everything won’t crumble on itself when everything is too much to handle.
Also, do you all realize how STABLE ao3 is? and fast? That shit requires so much manpower and so much server optimization and maintenance and it’s so detached from reality to think that that doesn’t require the money they are asking for. The exact fact that you have nothing to complain about ao3 except ‘booooh no new features!’ is a statement on how well they do their job.
All the work they are putting out there is open for you to read and check. you can see what they are working on.
So basically people are complaining ‘aaaah there are no new flashy improvements: they are not doing anything!’ meanwhile you’re all enjoying a mostly bug-free fast website-that rarely has any crashes-with tons of features that mostly work and those that aren’t working are getting fixed daily by people who are donating their time to you and you all are shitting on it. that is the very definition of entitlement.
spent an hour sitting the backseat of a mini as a friend drove us from one city to another. Been home for like 4 hours now and I’m STILL feeling nauseated.
marlowfication 